Struggling with
single parenthood?

How Do You Make Visitation Time Quality Time?

Rituals are important. Rituals and routines are essential for family life. These rituals and routines need not be complex or fraught with heavy meaning. They simply must be things your children can count upon when they are with you. Consistency and predictability are so important in the lives of children. Whether it’s beds made and teeth brushed before you leave the house, animal shaped pancakes for Sunday breakfast, "our spot" on the beach, or Dad’s silly imitation of an elephant before bedtime really does not matter. What matters is that these rituals and routines define what is unique and special to your family. These are the things children remember for a lifetime.

Know your local attractions. Using your imagination together is an important part of family life. Whether you live in large metropolitan area or a small rural community, historical sites and museums are close by. These local attractions are geared to special interests or historical events. You might be able to experience everyday life during a specific historical time period. You may get to learn about a local sports hero, or develop a taste for modern art. Where and what the excursion entails is not the important thing. What is important is that you and your children share the planning together and experience something interesting or different together.

Trash to Treasure ­ Children do not need expensive toys or games to have fun. Consider the ages of your children and look at what you have available right in your own home. Preschool children will enjoy playing explorer with binoculars made of stapled together empty toilet paper rolls with plastic wrap lens. Combine with an empty jar or pail and organize a backyard bug hunting expedition. Check out any box of corn starch for a no fail cheap recipe for modeling clay. Office trash, like discarded computer paper or cardboard, provides a non-stop supply of paper for those art masterpieces. Styrofoam peanuts can be strung using a sewing needle with any strong thread to create holiday decorations, jewelry, or just for fun. Stimulate imaginary play by visiting second hand clothing stores and stock a "dress-up box". Big hats, uniforms, and special occasion dresses no longer in condition to reappear as vintage clothing on adults will be especially appealing. Your active and enthusiastic participation in these activities will insure that these times will be a part of the memorable experiences you will always share with your child.

Stuck for ideas? Play tourist and do an internet search of your own city or county.

Check out the local Farmers Market. Instead of Saturday morning cartoons or yet another expensive trip to the mall or video game store, why not go on a field trip to a local Farmers Market. Expose your kids to the sights, sounds, and smells of a market. The grocery store will never be the same! Ask to sample whenever possible, set a budget, and decide together what to buy.

Invite your kids into the kitchen. Stop buying your children expensive and unhealthy fast food and prepare meals together. Invite your children into the kitchen and begin a culinary adventure that will last a lifetime. Pretend you are all chefs in a fancy restaurant. Assign your "sous chefs" safe jobs appropriate to their age and skill. Not sure what to cook? Check out recipes online geared for the beginner cook. Don’t worry even if you have never cooked anything yourself before. You and the kids will have fun together.

"Go Wild!". Biking, hiking, canoeing, ice skating, swimming, even camping and fishing--whatever your favorite recreational activity, do it in some of the most beautiful places around-- your local conservation area or National Park. Pack up the kids, a picnic lunch, sun screen and some bug spray and see how much fun you can squeeze into one day. In most cases you can access locations, fees, and trail maps online.

Start a "Family Game Night". Buy, borrow or unpack those favorite board games. This is a chance to share games YOU used to love with your kids. Grab some snacks, turn off the TV, and plan an evening of fun, learning and laughter. Kids also often become fascinated with jig saw puzzles. Keep one set up at your house so you can all work on it as time is available. The sense of family accomplishment beats anything video games have to offer.