Dr. Leah can help.

DR. LEAH REPLIES... Abandonment by a parent is going to be an issue in your son’s life. No getting around that. You can do much, however, to minimize the emotional damage. Conversations about his father will take place at different times in your son’s life and, most often, when your son is at some crossroads---like starting school. You want your son to come to understand that Daddy's problem with being a responsible adult are about everything in his life-- jobs, friends, money, as well as with family responsibilities. None of his actions were about what your son needed and that is the heartbreak. Start with simple explanations like “some people are just not ready for the big important job of being a mommy or a daddy.” When your son asks if he has a daddy, you might chose to make the distinction between father (biological necessity) and daddy (a man who cares for you always). Do find opportunities to praise your former husband because soon your son will realize he is genetically half that person. This is especially important if your son looks like his father. You married him and had a child with him. You can certainly think of something positive to say once and a while. If your son inherited your husband’s beautiful brown eyes or ability to hit a fast ball, for example, say so. Don’t be too anxious to find a substitute man or feel that your son will somehow grow up at some terrible disadvantage. Build his self-esteem with genuine praise for real accomplishments, big and small. Let your son know how much you and others love him.