For Dads of Girls

JUST ASK DR. LEAH... I’m a single father, raising a daughter. I grew up without any sister, in a household of brothers. I feel at a loss to know what girls need. What should I do?

DR. LEAH REPLIES... Realize you can't possibly know all of the mysteries of the female world and you really would not want to. Single dads are at a distinct advantage because women are everywhere in your daughter's life. Most women enjoy helping an information challenged dad. You may find yourself besieged with woman looking to help out! Remember most elementary school teachers are women and these will be important role models for your daughter. The scary reproduction stuff is taught in school. You will be given plenty of help by your daughter's school in how to reinforce these important lessons at home.

Girls need what every other human being needs-- Love, understanding, compassion, and a sense of security. You will be challenged by your daughter's questions about why her mother is not an important presence in her life. Some single dads find the distinction between mother (biological necessity) and mommy (woman who always loves you and cares for you) useful when they explain that some women are just not ready to do the important job of mommy.

Do find opportunities to praise your former wife. Your little girl will realize she is genetically half that person. This is especially important if your daughter looks like her mother. You married her and had a child with her. You can certainly think of something positive to say once and a while. This is critically important for girls once puberty begins and your little girl starts looking more like a young woman. If your daughter inherited your wife's lovely blond hair, for example, say so. Don't be too anxious to find some new and improved wife because you feel that your daughter will somehow grow up at some terrible disadvantage.

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