How Dr. Leah Became
A Single Mother

My role as a single parent came abruptly and unexpectedly. I had been living in upstate New York, with my husband and our two young children. When my husband wanted to move his business to the Carolinas, I readily agreed confident that our family life would smoothly continue. I was a school psychologist, eagerly looking forward to earning a doctorate at the University of South Carolina. He went ahead to make arrangements, while I packed up the house. As the moving van was pulling out of the driveway and our children, Sarah, three, and Andrew, eight, were saying goodbyes to the house, the phone rang.

I was in for a rude shock. Instead of providing details for our move, my husband announced he did not want to be married any more, suggested the children and I move in with my mother in a suburb of New York City, and hung up. That was the end of his participation in our lives.

Left stunned with a couple of suitcases, two bewildered children, and $500, I temporarily stayed at my mother's house. I desperately wanted a better life for the children and me.

I had no clue, no instruction manual, nothing. What I did have were determination, faith, acceptance to a top notch graduate program, and two children I dearly loved.

The children and I moved to South Carolina anyway, without child support, child care, or any network of family or friends. For a long time, I was too ashamed to tell anyone what had happened, even though I was a thousand miles away from anyone I knew. I was also worried that, if my single parent status was discovered, I might be given fewer opportunities than the other students and not earn my doctoral degree at the same pace as others.

I struggled to meet the needs of two children, attend class, write papers, cook, clean, find time to sleep, earn money, and study. I earned my doctorate and license as a psychologist "on schedule" and returned to Long Island to practice and continue to raise my children alone. I am proud of how well my children turned out. Andrew is a successful attorney, who lives in California with his lovely wife. Sarah graduated from college and is completing a degree in nursing. They are confident, optimistic, and devoted to family. My children are the pride and joy of my life.

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